Lets see where to begin...
I tried writing a blog before, and as you can see from my absence it didnt really keep,lol. But i am going to try again. I dont know why. maybe for venting, entertainment or sure boredom. Alot has happened since i last wrote, some good, some bad, some happy, some sad, and some completly heartbreaking. It has been a year since the last time i have opened this page and started typing, oh how the world turns.
Lets do some "catch up" well I am still as you probably guessed it in Idaho. I am now 25 years old and a mother to a beautiful 8 month 3 week old little girl named Cali Ann. She is my pride and joy and she graced my presence and made her apperance on October 28 of 2011 at 6:47pm. Weighing in at 8 pounds 5 oz, 21 and 1/4 inches long. She is growing up so quickly before my eyes, every day i thank God or the heavens whatever it is that you believe in that i am so lucky to have her in my life and have the chance to watch her grow. Yesterday she got her first tooth and is already starting to pull herself up and walk a little bit. She says words like "mama" "ama" (grandma) "baba" (bottle) and "juanjuan" (john john-my brother). I am going to school at BSU studying psychology with a minor in sociology. I am working at an event center part time as well as volunteering at the VA hospital here in Boise. I also volunteer at Adopt a US Soldier, Project Frontline and multiple mommy and me sites. I still dont have any friends. i have "friends" but as we all know they really dont count. I have come to the realization that i would rather be alone then have "friends" because you cannot rely on them. I am still living with my mother and brother, and i am thankful everyday for their help with Cali Ann especially with babysitting while i am off at work, school, or volunteering.
In the last blog that i wrote it involved my cousin Christopher (the one who went to basic training for the army). Well this past April. (april 23,2012) my cousin passed away. So at the end of April and beginning of May my mother, Cali and I flew out to Houston Texas and had his Military Funeral at the Veteran Memorial Funeral Home there. He was cremated. That was and will always be an interesting experience, and right now i am not in the right mental state to describe that experience. With buring my cousin, to the drama with my dads side of the family (which ended in me being disowned for something i didnt do) to the emotional rollar coaster of that trip, i am still recovering. Not a day goes by that i do not think about him and miss him. There are times where i want to pick up my phone and call him or text him to hear his sarcastic sense of humor or crazy outlook on life. It saddens me that i will never be able to hear his voice or see a text from him.
Moving on before the tears start. Next month I am planning a trip back to Southern California with my family. And i have to say that i have mixed feelings about the whole ordeal. I am excited to be able to take Cali to the beach for the first time, to see the few people i actually still talk too, and to see how much my hometown has changed in the year and a half that i have been gone. We shall see how it goes. I am trying to not hold such high regards for a place i once called home, since with time everything changes, but again that is how the world turns.
I should probably get back to my school work since that is what i am suppose to be doing right now, even though a nap does sound good. Sleep is something i rarely get anymore. But i knew that was going to happen when i got pregnant. The things we give up for mommyhood. I wouldnt change a thing.
I will try and write later and maybe then my thoughts will be more in order. Right now they are kind of everywhere and it is hard to sum up an entire year of experiences in a few paragraphs especially when you are sitting outside in 96 degree weather sweating your ass off. I hope yall are enjoying your summer. As i hope i will continue to enjoy mine.
