New To This Whole Thing

I dont even know where to start, or even if I should. I am new to this whole "Blog" thing. I dont know if I am willing to have my life out there on the internet. So the question is 'why am I writing in this little box'? haha I dont even know. Im a journal person, old school you might say. I enjoy writing in my journal, cutting up newspapers and magazines to make collages, renting movies or going out and buying them, buying cds (not burning them), reading books (to add to my library). You know all the things it seems the world has forgotten we used to do. I am not saying there is anything wrong with the 'new way' of life, just saying I prefer the old ways. But see that is such a contradiction since I am in fact on the internet writing on an online blog. To be honest I am not even really a fan of the internet. Even though like it seems the rest of the world, I have fallen prey to the world of Facebook. I thought Myspace was bad, haha not even close. Now you may ask 'why are you even on here then?' Well, to be honest...I am having a brain fart when it comes to writing in my journal. It seems I have so many thoughts, yet my hand is unwilling to transfer them onto paper. Plus to sum it up, im lonely...

A little background into the world of Kalee: I have spent my entire life (23 years) minus the past 8 months in Southen California. In Oct 2010 my mother decided that she wanted to have a midlife crisis. (well that is at least what I think happened). So we packed up our entire house and put it into storage, she quit her job of 23 years and we got into the car and drove. My first thoughts were "whoo hoo roadtrip". I mean who doesnt enjoy a good roadtrip? Anyways... We hit Vegas for Halloween (an experience I dont remember much of) then Utah and ended up in Boise, Idaho. My mom has always wanted to visit Boise, so we thought a nice little stop on the way to Portland, Oregon would be good. Little did I know we would never leave. Oy Vey. After a month of staying in a hotel and sight seeing, we decided as a family, what the heck...LETS MOVE TO IDAHO. I dont know if any of you have ever been to Idaho in the winter, but if you have then you know. Moving to Idaho in November is not a very good idea, but how the heck were we supposed to know. I mean we're Californians what did we know about snow, freezing temperatures, and black ice. Absolutley nothing.

 I think one of the coolest things to come out of that whole moving in the winter thing was, my 18 year old brother finally saw snow for the first time. We had our first snow ball fight, our first snow day (where there was a foot of snow on the ground), we made our first igloo out of snow until our hands were frozen even though we had on two pairs of gloves, we made our first snowman, and for the first time it felt like we were acting like a family.

So much yet so little has happened these past 8 months in Idaho, I would love to write about everything but I am afraid the world doesnt need to know, nor am I willing to let the world know. I will say this though, Idaho is an interesting place to live when you have spent your entire life in Southern California. To say 'culture shock' is a bit of an understatement.

Since living in Idaho I have tried to make friends, and have in return been blown off, insulted and judged more then I have ever been in my entire life. (And that is saying alot since growing up in So Cal is not easy).I thought by moving to Idaho I would meet some good down to earth people, and in return...I havent. Now I am not saying that EVERYONE from Idaho is judgemental, I am just saying that just the ones that i have met have been. Maybe it is my fault. I let my guard down, a wall that had been protecting me the entire time I lived in Cali. I dont know if this is making any sense, or even if I want it too. I mean how do you write about your life? Its not supposed to be easy, is it?

One good thing that I can say that came out of being in Idaho is...I am going to be a mommy. Wow, me a mom. Still kinda trip out on it sometimes. In a nut shell: met a guy in Nov right after i moved here, kinda started dating. If that is what you want to call it. HA! We hung out Nov-the beginning of Feb. Then he got a new girlfriend. Well at the end of Feb i found out I was pregnant, did the adult thing and told him, and he did the asshole thing and told me he didnt want "it" or anything to do with me. We havent talked since. Guys sure can be deuche bags.

Anywho, I am now 24 years old, living in Idaho (away from everyone I have ever known and everything I have ever known), pregnant with a wonderful babygirl and talking to myself in a blog. Haha. Oh how the world works, when I had told myself I would never have a blog. Oh the irony. Now this blog isnt for anyone but me, but hey if people want to read it I guess that is fine. I mean it is on the internet after all. But to be honest my life isnt that entertaining or interesting. I am just a normal person trying to find my place in the world, trying to figure out who I am, and now trying to figure out what kind of mother I want to be. So come on in and...Welcome to Kalee's World.